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I'm growing into the lines on my face. I swear I'll never like the taste of getting old, waking up to an ache of something I can't take. And my left arm's asleep again. I'll never understand my ways. You still say that you don't remember how you used to know me. Soon before it decides to make you sleep it'll test you to hold onto all the secrets you've planned to keep. Will you wake up alone wondering what you've done or who you've become? You still say that you don't remember how you used to know me.
I'm not so bent about my failures. Is it because I'm learning more or because I'm caring less? My aim's never been to please, and maybe that's my biggest fault; being number one to number one. These shattered shields that I keep piecing back together. There are things I can't be bothered with and things that I can't control. Shittier in a sense, but happier than faking it. Grin and bear it until I can't take it. Grit my teeth and bite my tongue. There are things that I'll expect to believe and then they're gone.
I'm taking a little break from self-destruction in order to prioritize a feeling of production. Because my body's decaying faster than my teeth and it seems to speed itself up with every better person that I meet. So seven feet by twelve feet, a sanctuary, my Tuesday retreat, and I'm not leaving. Because today I'm having a hard time even hearing myself speak. So I trade in my hands on something more reliable, and a little more in-tune.
I paint my bedroom walls a paler shade of blue so they remind me of being outside when my skin is begging me to. Running just short of about, oh, 70 different collections of odds and ends and bullshit that will hold my attention a little bit longer than the last. I'm just holding out until my work week ends then I'll make up for it with all the best intentions. Monday is waiting for me, but my Tuesday is for laundry. I hope there's nothing more holding you back from what you want to be but don't be sorry if I think it's boring.
White Flags 02:05
Every white flag I've ever waved I've reused a couple times, dyed black, and then I've saved. Then they hang on my bedroom wall over my window until the sun fades them grey. It's a much better match for my mood these days. Waiting on better weather, something a little less dark all the time. The light that was barely ever there will start to fade just like I promised that it would. And I digress, I've been awake for so long. Carrying on with things so unimportant in every single song.


released May 24, 2019

Salinas Records #095

Engineered and mixed by Matthew Frank in Chicago IL.
Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios.


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